Death in Australia

Death in Australia

It’s true that there are thousands of ways to die in Australia.  I’d like to discuss just a few that we’ve encountered so far and, as a vigilant guest, the precautions I am taking to get back to Oregon in one piece:

1. Snakes.  Some of the world’s most venomous snakes live here.  Tourists are advised to always wear heavy shoes and stay on clearly marked paths.  I am doing just that.

Portia, one of the three dogs that live so happily with Michael and Denise crawled under their bed one night to sleep in her favorite place.  From the cozy haven under their bed, she let out a bloodcurdling scream.  

As Michael turned on the light, and Denise sat up, Portia came running out from under the bed.  A python was attached to her leg.  Not a child’s python, the name of the smallish ones that frequent the area, but a full-sized python, about four meters long.  Let me repeat, it was under the bed.

Portia survived since a python kills not by venomous bites but by strangulation.  But I keep thinking about the event and am studying this danger more fully.

2. Crocodiles.  Don’t stand on the banks of rivers, the tourists are warned. Crocodile danger is real.  Don’t risk your life.  And it’s true, crocs can be found in any Top End waterway, they move around, and they will attack.  They will see us before you see them.  They are the largest member of the food chain and have been unbeatable for millions of years.  Oh, yes, and never clean fish by the water’s edge.
3. Box jellyfish.  Box jellyfish are common in the ocean.  Don’t swim in the ocean from October to May, the guidebooks say.  That’s when the box jellyfish are most frequently found.  And did I mention the sting from a box jellyfish can be especially lethal to older people?
4. So many critters.  The first night in our bush hut, right before going to bed, I saw a very LARGE spider in the kitchen area.  He played dead while I shined the flashlight feature of my iPhone directly in his face, but I could see the large, bug-like eyes watching me.  An extra big gecko, too, was on the wall.

As I climbed into bed that first night, I put the covers over my head-- although given the many ways to die in Australia, I suspected that sheet protection was likely to fail.  That night I dreamed there was a tiger in the room.  He wanted out and I couldn’t think of a way to help him without hurting myself in the process.  Finally, the dream me was able to use the end of a flashlight-- “torch” here in the land of kangaroos-- to smash a window and set him free.  

That’s when I woke up, barely breathing under the covers and decided that if I was going to die, Australia was as good a place as any to do it.  Now I sleep with the sheets lowered, my head bare, willing to take the risk.